1. I went round my mate's house the oter night and his kids were running around the place screaming.
He looked at me and said, "Don't ever have kids, man."
I said, "Hard work?"
He said, "No, you're just ugly."
2. In the bible, god made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights. That's pretty good summer for Wales. That's a hosepipe ban waiting to happen.
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